7 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ME

1) I don’t do interviews. The only time I will ever consider doing an interview is when I need to set the record straight.

2) I rarely do live poetry readings. However if I’m in the mood I will perform at Gothic Weddings, Gothic Funerals, Gothic Birthday parties, Gothic Bah mitzvahs, Gothic Hen Nights, Halloween parties and pretty much any other Gothic event. As long as I get some cake at the end of the gig – I’ll be happy.

3) Yes – my nails are pretty long and beautiful for a guy.

4) Yes – it’s true – I’m a man and I’m not afraid to say that I wear ‘Hello Kitty’ underwear. (Ha, ha, ha, my crappy attempt at humour)

5) Yes – it’s true – I am a thong wearing man frog – especially on a good day.

6) Yes – it’s true – I have the smallest penis in the world. It’s so small – even if you had a magnifying glass you wouldn’t be able to find it.

7) Yes – my hair is real.